Russian Roulette
by GravisPen
Summary: And you can see my heart beating, know that I must pass this test. Jason/Ivy


**Disclaimer:** I make no claims to the songs, characters or story of Bare: a Pop Opera but do make claims to anything in here that came from my brain.

**Russian Roulette**

_And you can see my heart beating__  
__You can see it through my chest__  
__And I'm terrified but I'm not leaving__  
__Know that I must pass this test__  
__So just pull the trigger  
__**- Russian Roulette, Rihanna**_

She felt his hand slide inside her shirt and, breathless, she let him. They kissed, slowly, passionately and Ivy knew that finally she had achieved her goal. Jason was hers, definitely hers, at last. His hands brushed against her breasts and she gasped at his touch. It was just how she'd imagined it. She knew that she'd be able to make him love her; it was common knowledge that Jason and Ivy were made for each other. She did what she knew best, slipping off her clothes, and his too. They kissed again, their hands wandered freely and Ivy leant back, opening herself to him. They joined together and Ivy felt alive for the first time in years.

When they came back to school, she'd thought they would date and tell everyone they were dating. Ivy would stop sleeping around for attention and Jason would... well, Jason would make her happy. He did make her happy. Clichéd as it was, Ivy had never felt like this before. She knew she loved Jason as she had done for almost three years. Having ended the previous semester in the perfect way, Ivy had every hope that the next one would be just the same.

She began it by telling him the truth. She went to him after class by the lockers and took his hand. "Come with me," she said, and he did. They stood in an empty classroom, facing each other nervously. Ivy cleared her throat and smiled at him, hoping he wouldn't freak out. Jason shifted uncomfortably, having a suspicion of what it was she was about to say.

"Things I have," she paused. "Well, they don't last for long. Any so-called boyfriend has gone pretty fast. I never really cared much, I know what they're really after." Jason nodded encouragingly, silently wishing it would be over as fast as possible. Ivy sat on a desk, clutching the edge as though she would die if she ever let go, and continued. "But, then came your kiss, and all I was missing was there in your eyes." She stroked his cheek. "Your lonely, blue eyes. Please, Jason, say you'll stay with me. I know this is love for me. Please stay." Jason inadvertently came closer to her and she took his hand once more.

_And you can see my heart beating_

"You touched my soul." She lifted his hand and pressed it to her heart. "When I see you, I forget any sadness I feel and anything that's happened during the day. I know it's early with us and I know I must seem ridiculous proclaiming my love for you but I just know it's true. I miss you before you even leave me, it's like you're my tomorrow – you're my everything. With you, I can make it through anything. Please take my hand."

Jason moved his hand away from her heart and took her hand in his. "Listen, Ivy-"

"I'm not finished."

She stood and moved closer to him, wrapping her arms loosely around his waist. Jason's hands settled around her shoulders awkwardly.

_You can see it through my chest_

"Let me help you understand that two searching hearts can find a home. And our hearts have found each other. I know it's love. Please let me touch your soul." She came closer again, resting her head against his chest and tightening her grip upon him. It just felt right for her to be here in his arms. Jason's hand lifted as if to stroke her hair but dropped again. He took her shoulders once more and pushed her away from him so she was at arm's length. He was about to break her heart.

_And I'm terrified, but I'm not leaving_

"Ivy, I think you're such a special girl." She opened her mouth to interrupt him but he held a finger to her lips. "No. I really mean that. And in a perfect, beautiful world, I would love you too and we would be together. But what we have... it just doesn't work." Her whole face dropped and she looked away from him, tears brimming in her eyes. "It isn't you!" He added hastily. "I swear, I promise. It's not about you. It's about me, and my own issues. I just... I don't think we should see each other anymore."

_Know that I must pass the test _

"Jason, I can change. Forget what I said, I didn't mean to scare you. Can't we just begin again, try again? I want to try again with you."

Jason shook his head regretfully, interrupting her. "Maybe one day, I wish – to God! – I felt that way. You've touched my soul, you really have, but I have to go." He pulled away from her and turned to the door, running swiftly towards Peter's dormitory. Ivy reached out to him, praying that he would turn back and love her the way he did before Spring Break. But he didn't come back.

Ivy fell to her knees, crouching over herself for protection. Tears streamed down her face as she rocked to and fro. She'd lost the only boy she'd ever truly liked. Jason had broken her heart.

_So pull the trigger._


End file.
